Thursday
by Fruityferret
Summary: Seventeen year-old Tori Vega has finally met her soul-mate. The only problem? She's only 9 years-old... Jori AU.
1. In the Rain

**Never written a Rated M story before. This may or may not crash and burn. But I'm crazy, and what would life be if I didn't spread my crazy around a bit?**

**Enjoy!**

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"_There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons."__  
__―__Stephen Chbosky_

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It was raining when we met.

It was also a Thursday, about a month before the end of summer. I was seventeen years-old, and ever since I could remember I hated Thursdays. It always seemed like something bad happened on Thursdays. I can remember my rabbit dying on a Thursday when I was a young girl. It was a Thursday in sixth grade when some mean boys put a bunch of glue in my hair and I was forced to cut it. My mom left me and my older sister sister and father on a Thursday when I turned thirteen. It was a Thursday when my father got drunk for the first time and hit me. It was a Thursday when I was fifteen that I had lost my virginity to a guy and was dumped right afterward. It was last Thursday that my year long relationship with my boyfriend ended. And it was this particular Thursday I had taken some jelly shots at a party, gotten ditched by my friends, and now I had missed the last bus of the night, and I was now stranded in the rain.

Yeah, Thursdays hadn't had a good track record for me.

It wasn't too late. It was only bout 8:30. I after having some shots and some hookah, everyone wanted to move to a new location. I honestly hadn't been up for anymore partying. I hadn't really been up for a party tonight anyway. But, for the sake of trying to move on, I decided to go out tonight. But my mood had just declined over the past two hours. All I could think of was my ex-boyfriend Dave. And my friends didn't want a Debby Downer around. So i decided to head home by myself. But of course, why would I get a break? Especially on a Thursday.

Fuck Thursdays.

I sighed heavily. I stood there at the bus stop on the corner of Andrew and Main, wondering what I was going to do. I knew I was about a thirty minute walk from home and the rain was getting worse. And even better, all she had on was a t-shirt and shorts and I was already soaked through. My side had been killing me all day. I brought my hand up to my side and felt the bruise. Memories of my argument that morning with that sorry excuse for a 'Dad' that had led to him hitting me in my side started a spark in my already irritated state.

I let out an annoyed grunt and plopped down by the bus stop sign. I couldn't even feel the wet concrete under me. I pulled my knees up to my chest. My hair was completely soaked, my clothes were soaked, and my insides felt soaked. And I couldn't even feel the tears running down my face. I wondered if I could drown in the rain…

I sat and watched the cars pass by, headlight after headlight, trying not to focus on the ache in my side. Why was my life such a mess? Why couldn't it be unpretentious ad stress-free? Those girls on TV that had entirety of their happiness; loving parents, amazing boyfriend… and right now I felt like I had nothing. As if I was nothing. Just some empty, unwanted shell of a person taking up space. Maybe it would be better if I just wasn't around anymore…

"Hey! Why are you on the ground?"

A voice in the rain snapped me out of her self-loathing. What I saw i wasn't exactly expecting. A little girl, clad in a black hoodie and dark red pants hovered over me. Even in the rain I could make out the girl's long wavy brown hair and the soft, pudginess of her cheeks. She stood there, arms crossed, her hood up, staring down judgingly at me like I needed more scrutinizing.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" The girl said when I didn't respond. "Are you stupid or something?"

_Yeah_, I thought, _I am stupid. Stupid for thinking my boyfriend loved me. Stupid for thinking that _something_ good could happen to me. Stupid for coming out on a fucking Thursday and think everything would be fine._

Just fucking stupid.

I just shrugged and turned my head. I had to choke down a sob but the tears kept coming. I couldn't help it. My life was a fucking train wreck that just kept piling up. My heart felt heavy and the rest of my body felt empty. Why even try anymore?

"You're going to get a cold sitting out here." The girl had leaned in closer now, judging my embarrassing state more closely. "And you already look sick."

I faced the little girl again. Now, in close proximity, under the dim street light, I caught my first real look into the girl's eyes. They were absolutely stunning. An ocean blue, deep and cold. They almost had me star struck.

The little's girl face scrunched up in curiosity. "Are you crying?"

I had forgotten I had been crying this whole time. i turned my head and cleared my throat, trying to play it off like I hadn't been sobbing like a baby on a curb.

"No." I was a bad liar.

I expected to hear something else from the little girl but instead, I felt her small, delicate fingers wrap roughly around my wrist and pull me up.

"What are you-?'

"Get up," the little girl said. "We aren't doing anything here but getting wet."

I stood and the little girl pulled her across the street and down the sidewalk. I had no idea why I was following this little girl. I had a notion that this wasn't a good idea. Like, this choice was going to come back and bite me in the butt. But hadn't that been my life all the way up to this point? A whole bunch of bad decisions that turned around and ended me in the gutter? What's one more trip?

And the two of us walked. Five minutes later, we turned into a neighborhood that ascended upward. A large, brick wall lit by black spotlights in the bushes. The words clearly read:

HIGHPOINT.

I knew a bit about Highpoint. It was one of the richest neighborhoods on this side of Hollywood. It wasn't much of a place for celebrities, but it was known for being a place where lawyers and government officials resided.

Who was this girl?

The little girl didn't slow down though. She continued to tug me in the rain and through the neighborhood. I followed her religiously, curiosity taking me over now. A few blocks in, the little girl stopped.

I had to take a moment to take in the sight. A large gate wrapped around what I could guess was at least a six acre estate. A stone path curved in a slither like fashion up to the front of a nicely lit home. Not home… a _mansion_. It looked to be maybe three floors, not including a possible basement.

For the first time since we had left the curb, the little girl let go of my wrist. She reached up on her tippy toes and unlatched the gate, pushing it open with a loud squeak.

"Come on," she said. I didn't respond but followed the youth up the path. My gaze was focused on the house in front of me. So many windows, each one of them brightly lit. How many people lived in this house?

The front patio of the house resembled a gazebo. An elongated white overhead with long white pillars decorated with bright, old fashioned lanterns. The flooring was complete stone, gray and white. It all almost looked too expensive to even walk on.

The little girl continued to the front door and took the covering off what looked like keypad. She pushed a few buttons and Tori heard a loud buzz. The little girl replaced the covering and opened the door, disappearing inside.

I had the feeling I should just leave. But, once again, my inane curiosity egged me forward. I followed the young child into the house and was immediately in awe.

The first thing I noticed was how big the house was. No, just how big the sitting room was. The doorway opened into what she pictured the main room of the White House looked like. White linoleum floors dropped a step down into carpet and an extravagant sitting room. Two caramel colored couches and an armchair sat in the center. The room also consisted of a bar, a humungous fireplaces, and three overhanging chandeliers.

"Wow." What else was I supposed to say? What could I say? I never seen anything like this in person. Only in movies was this an actual reality.

"Take off your shoes." I turned my head to the little girl. She had already kicked off her shoes and set them on a fancy shoe wrack hanging a foot off the floor.

"Oh, okay." I slipped off my sneakers and heard a squish sound as my feet touched the floor and I decided to take my socks off too and leave them in my Vans.

"Let's go to the kitchen."

"Why the kitchen?' I asked.

The little girl rolled her eyes. "So you don't get water on the carpet, Stupid."

I huffed a bit. _Geez, this girl has a bite to her._

The girl led me down the hallway to the right. The walls were covered in expensive paintings and antiques that hung there fashionably. Fancy side tables held expensive looking vases and plants. I was scared that I might knock something over and moved cautiously behind Jade. I know for a fact couldn't afford to pay for some million dollar antique if I bumped it onto the floor.

The kitchen was beautiful. Silver and white counters with dark, honey wood cupboards and one of those expensive ass smart fridges. The middle of the kitchen and a large, granite island surrounded by barstools.

"Sit down and I'll get you a towel." With a wave of her hand she disappeared into the hallway.

I slowly made my way to the island and sat on one of the black bar stools. The house smelt of vanilla and a hint of apples.

I couldn't make out the view from the window over the sink because of the heavy rain. I never would have thought in a thousand years I, Tori Vega, would end up in a place like this. Why had I even come here in the first place? Well, it certainly beat sitting in the rain, and at least my so called 'father' wasn't here. But of course, a reminder of that asshole was consistently jabbing me in the side, reminding me I eventually had to go back and face his wrath another day…

"Here."

I turned my head and saw the young girl standing a few feet away. She had changed from her hoodie into a black t-shirt and her hair was in a ponytail. Jade walled up to her and shoved a towel and white t-shirt into my hands.

"Dry yourself off. I brought you one of my mom's shirts."

I nodded a thanks. "Are… uh, your parents home? Or anyone else?"

The little girl just shook her head. Her response made me feel a little uncomfortable. Why was the little girl here by herself?

I let myself glance back at the girl. Those icy blue eyes were boring holes into skin. I could feel every inch of her was being scrutinized. My uncomfortableness grew tenfold.

"Hurry up." The girl tapped her foot impatiently.

I refrained from rolling my eyes and turned slightly. I took off my shirt and began to dry off. I let myself revel in the feeling of warmth. I squeeze my hair out with the towel then reach for the shirt, only to be stopped when I feel someone near me.

I knew it was the little girl, but I was still stunned when my eyes landed on her only inches away from me. She was silent, fast, and her face gave away her inquisitive nature. Her eyes are on me- no, on my stomach. I already know what she's looking at.

"I fell." Was that believable?

Her eyes don't leave the bruise on my side. "I can get you some ice."

I shrug and quickly cover myself with the shirt. I can't handle her stare for too much longer. It's throwing me off balance.

The little girl moves away and to the fridge. In a second, she's back at my side with a blue ice pack.

I sit down and she sits down next to me and motions me to pull my shit up. When I do, I can see why this might raise some concern. The bruise that had just been red a few hours earlier was now full blown black and blue. I wince as she presses the cold pack into my side.

The girl is completely silent as she does this, leaning toward me and focusing on my side. I keep my focus on her, this little mystery, this young anomaly. Who was she even?

"What's your name?" I don't recognize my voice here. It's too quiet, but it's too barbaric. It wasn't made for this house, this setting.

She blinks slowly. "What's yours?"

"I asked first."

"I don't care." She pushes the ice pack a little harder against my skin. I can't tell if it's on purpose or not.

"Well my name's Tori. Tori Vega."

"Tori…" The named rolled off her tongue slowly, as if she was taking it for test drive. "That's… a stupid name."

"Thanks," I replied with a flat tone. "Your name is…?"

"Jade West."

I smiled. "At least one of us has a nice name."

"I guess." She didn't say it with much emotion but I could see the twinge of a smile at the end of her lips. I guess she like compliments.

"Why were you sitting out in the rain?" Her eyes were on my face now. They were killing me.

"Why were you out in the rain?"

"I asked you first!" Jade huffed at me.

My grinned widened at the annoyed look on her face. "I don't care." Two can play that game.

I don't think I've ever seen a little kid smirk, but that's actually what she did. If it didn't fit her personality, I would've found it unnerving.

"I was just out walking."

"In the rain?"

She rolled her eyes. "It wasn't raining when I left." I feel like she was refraining from calling me stupid again. "So why were you outside in the raining?"

I hesitated for a moment. I don't know why I was worried about sounding pathetic. This was a little girl. No reason to look good.

"I was out with some friends and I wanted to go home but I missed the bus."

"You don't have a car?"

I shook my head. "No. I have my license but I don't have a car yet. My sister lets me borrows hers when she is in a good mood. But she hasn't been in one in a good while."

"Why not?'

"Cuz she's a bi-" I had to stop myself, remembering who I was talking too. I coughed to cover up my stumble. "She's… uh, bitter, and mean."

"What about your parents?"

What is this, twenty questions?

"I live with my dad and he's… mean too. Besides we had an argument this morning and even if I called and asked him to pick me up he wouldn't have." And now I'm thinking about him, and how I'm only like this because of him. This is all his fault.

"This morning?" She says. "Is that when you fell?"

I blink, confused for a second. "Fell? Why do you say I fe-?" And then I have to catch myself again. But it's too late this time. I'm caught. That smirk is back on her face, wide and satisfied. I can tell this girl has played these games before, and she doesn't lose.

"Fine, you caught me." I adjusted myself and took the ice pack from her and placed it on the counter. "My dad and I got into a fight this morning and he, well, did this." I motion to the gradually improving bruise on my side.

Jade's face scrunched up again, the look in her eyes harder than it was earlier. "Did you hit him back?"

I almost laughed. "No. It's not even worth it."

"Well if he hit me I would hit him back."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "Oh, really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Let me meet him. I'll hit him for you. And trust me he'll think twice about hitting you again when I'm done with him."

I laughed at the thought of Jade fighting a six foot-two police officer. Actually laughed. The feeling was so foreign. It'd been so long since I smiled a real smile. I couldn't even remembered the last time I smiled like this. You have to be happy to smile like this. And happiness evaded me some twisted Tom and Jerry episode on rerun.

"Don't laugh, I'm serious!" She said. "Let me meet him!"

I stopped laughing but the smile was still stitched on my face. My sides hurt from laughing now, the pain from my bruise forgotten. "Sorry, I just don't think an eight year old is going to be able to-"

"I'm not eight," she interrupts. "I'm almost ten."

I smiled, the determination set in those ice caps was admirable. "Oh, okay. Well, in that case maybe you can teach him a lesson."

"I will," she smiled. Jade turned and stared out the window. "I think the rain stopped."

I glance out the window. The rain has stopped and the sky was clearing a bit and the dark LA sky started to peep through the clouds. Just one overcast replacing another.

"You're right. I should get going." Even as I say the words I can feel the protest in my chest. The objection gets worse as we stand and I follow Jade to the front door.

I don't want to leave. Any other time, I'd blame it on my father not only because he makes home life a living hell, but it's easy to blame him. It's always been easy to blame him. But this time it's not all about him. That's kind of scary.

I slip on my shoes and stop at the door to look at Jade one more time.

"Thanks for… everything."

Jade just stands there and nods. Her face, those eyes, completely unreadable.

"Don't be stupid and get lost."

I smiled and nodded, exiting the house. This girl was a true mystery. I hadn't smiled in months, yet this girl had me doing it since I entered her home. I've had one of the worst days ever and she got me to laugh. I'm in pain on the inside and out and yet, she made me feel something… positive. I shouldn't be stuck on something so small, because good things are fleeting. They're practically non-existent. But this… it almost felt real. Can you blame me for wanting to hold on to it?

I reach the end of the street and stop at the curb. A car speeds by and sprays my recently dried clothes with water.

I hate Thursdays.

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**Review and Let me know what you think?**

**~Love, Fruity**


	2. Down And Out the Rabbit Hole

_**And first, a word to my reviewers:**_

**Yuzu-ch**: I'm glad a caught you attention. I kind of felt like my first chapter was boring-ish…? And honestly, I'm interested on its development myself LoL

**JandreIsPerfection: **Lol, if it got to that I think I'd quit too. I'd say the reason I rated this is because one, the theme of the story for me was more for a mature audience. I don't need to e flagged xD Also, there are a few other things that happen with other characters in the story that will be mature. This story is kind of an experiment though, cuz, like I said, I have never written Rated M. But I promise I won't disappoint :D

**jenmar14: **Let's Hope they do fall in love! But ooohhh, my mind is so friggin evil it might crush both of our hopes and dreams….

**Invader Johnny: **First let me say, the end of your review put a HUGE smile on my face. So I'm weird and when I finished reading your review I heard the Star Wars theme song playing. And I agree, Jade has grown up WAY too fast. Where are her parents at…?

**ScottyBgood: **What? This isn't already weird enough for you? JK! But seriously, I don't know. How weird do you think it should get? I think I'm shooting for a… awkward normal? Mehhhh, let's just see where the next few take us.

**merrrr-rawrrrr**: YEAH! a you like it. And your name gives me insane uncontrollable giggles. STAHP IT!

**Now, To the Story**

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"_But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked._

_"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."_

_"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice._

_"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." _

― _Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland_

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I don't know why I was having a dream I was falling down a whole. That's all I was doing. Falling. And I kept falling until I woke up in a cold sweat. I didn't hit the ground. But I've had this dream before. I never hit the ground. I'm always falling down the Rabbit Hole but I never got to land in Wonderland. My life in a nutshell. A hole I'm always falling into.

There's a thud that makes me instantly forget my dream.

I glance at my cellphone. It's almost six in the morning. My Dad left for the morning shift at five. Who was it?

I grab my bat that I keep under the bed and creep out of my room. The lights are on in my sister's room, the bathroom and downstairs. There's another thud downstairs and I hear a guy's voice yelling.

Shit.

I squeeze the handle of the bat in y hands and slowly creep down the stairs. As I turn the corner I see my oh so wonderful sister Trina, and some Native looking guy with curly brown hair wearing tight black jeans and a red DoFo shirt. He was holding his hand and cursing in pain. The smell of weed, Smirnoff and pathetic loser let me know immediately he was one of Trina's flings. A suitcase lied between them.

"Why the fuck did you do that," he hisses at Trina, holding his hand.

Trina, wearing a short white miniskirt and a dark blue crop top and way too much Sweet Strawberry perfume, jewelry, and make-up.

"Sorry," she said spastically. "I thought when you said grab it you meant from the top."

"Why the fuck would I mean that?"

"I don't know," she yelled, waiving her hands. "Blow on it or something!"

"That's not gunna do shit!" He looks up and finally notices me on the stairwell. "Who are you?"

Trina sees me and her glare is intense. "Oh, it's just my useless sister."

He gives me a once over and smiles at me creepily I might add.

"She's not as ugly as you said she was," he says. "She's actually pretty hot. She comin' with us?"

I saw the look in his eyes and wanted to puke.

"Trina what the hell are you doing?"

Trina rolls her eyes and looks back and her deviant boy toy. "Babe, take this to the car."

"My hand still fucking hurts."

"Just take it to the car!"

He flinches at Trina's command and grabs the suitcase, grumbling as he exits our house. I walk down the rest of the stairs and face Trina's stupid ass. Just being around her made my brain feel cold.

"What is going on?" I ask her. "If dad found out that you had a guy in the house again-"

"Yeah, what's he gunna do? Beat me for the millionth time?" She had a point. "Besides, he won't find out. I'm leaving."

Those last words hit me like an ice-pick to the heart.

She's leaving?

I blink. In that millisecond my eyes are closed I remember my mom saying the same thing to me before she left and never came back.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to say this very slowly." She gets right in my face. "I. Am. Leaving."

I couldn't believe her. "And where are you going!"

Trina chuckled. "Alex has money. And he is totally gunna be a famous Rock star. I've got to support my boyfriend! And once he hits it big, I'm going for my dream as a famous actress/popstar."

I shake my head, trying to figure out if Trina is blown out of her mind right now. Surprisingly, she looks the most sober I've seen her in months.

Which makes this ten times worse.

"Trina, you can't honestly believe he is gunna take care of you, or that this is going to turn out in your favor. He's just another fucking loser." I couldn't help but scold her. She might be older than me but Tina had the mindset of a fucking ten year old.

"What other choice do I have?" Trina yelled back, becoming more severe. "Stay here with that fucking asshole?" She scoffed. "Please, Tori, anywhere is better than being with Dad."

I don't know why I was getting so irritated. Trina and I weren't particularly close, and it wasn't like I ever cared about her welfare. But I felt the unrelenting need to fight this.

"So you're just going to leave, like mom?"

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to that bitch."

"Why not? You don't care about anyone but yourself. You're selfish and self-absorbed. Just like her-!"

And I felt the heat rush to my face. Trina had snapped and lashed out with the back of her hand. I know I went a little too far with that one. We've called each other every name in the book, but this was the worst. I know we both liked pretending that it didn't hurt us, what she did. But it destroyed both of us inside. And now Trina was bringing up all those feelings in me, and I wanted her to feel the acid that was bubbling up in my stomach. The same feeling of being pushed off that cliff.

And I'm falling down the Rabbit Hole again.

"Listen to me right now you fucking little cunt," Trina grabs my hair and pulls my face up to look at her. "I am leaving, and Mom, Dad, and you are fucking dead to me. Understand?" She pushes me away roughly. "You're fucking insane if you think you are any better than me to come at me with any fucking insult you think fits. You came from the same bitch I did, you get beat by the same asshole I do, and you let whoever wants to fuck you do it because you want some fucking attention that badly because no one fucking likes you."

I look at Trina. I'm hurting. Not physically, but mentally I'm spiraling out control. I'm hurt, and I'm fucking angry. She just stares at me, waiting for me to retaliate. I want to. I want to hit her back, I wanted to scream and argue. I wanted cry and beg her to stay. I have so many things I need to say to her, but all that comes out my mouth is…

"Fine. Bye."

Trina scoffs again. "I feel sorry for you. Your life is gunna be full of you just lying down on your back and letting people treat you any kind of way you want. You're never going to be anything if you don't ever speak up for yourself. "

Trina walks to the door and looks back at me one more time.

"Good Luck, Tori. You're gunna need it."

The door slams shut. Inside, that sense of abandonment and self-loathing creep on me close in on me. The feeling only gets worse as I drag myself back to my bedroom. I'm officially alone. It's just me and that dark shadow that hangs over me.

I see a white shirt carelessly thrown over a chair. I grab it and sit down. The tears are pooing down my face like a flood. The only thing I'm good at is sitting around and crying while feeling bad for myself. Always falling. Just darkness as far as I can see up, and no bottom in sight.

Maybe one day I'll finally hit the ground.

**zzzzZzzzzZzzzz**

For every step I took after I passed the entrance into Highpoint, I got this weird, sinking feeling in my stomach. It reminded me of that feeling when you're headed to a class to take a test you didn't study for and your positive you're going to fail. I didn't understand why, but it was unpleasant and gut wrenching.

When I reach my destination, I stop abruptly. The house in front of me towered like a castle. It was menacing, freezing me in place in ninety degree weather. I clutched the white t-shirt in my hands a little too tight.

Intuition is a thing I believe in. It's also something I'm not very good at listening to. But my flight or fight response wanted to kick in so bad right. My eyes look away from the house and back toward the entrance to Highpoint.

I could leave… No, I should leave. Why was I even here? I did not walk a whole fucking thirty minutes in the sweltering heat to return a shirt. Even though I kept telling myself it was reasonable, it wasn't.

I almost jump out of my skin as I hear a loud buzz and a click as a latch releases the gate. It opens silently, almost like it was daring me wordlessly to trespass into the danger zone.

Every time I get nervous my mouth goes dry and I feel my mind receding into that dark place that sits there in the back of my head like the entrance to hell. It wanted to take me so many times, and a few times it's almost succeeded.

But today wasn't one of those days.

I lick my parched lips and force myself inside. This place… it's so magnificent. The bright late morning sun made the garden shine like gold. Marigolds and accents lined the stone paved path and the hedges were primly cut on either side, some were cute into simple geometric shapes, like squares and rectangles, and a select few were cut to resemble horses or people with swords. Who in the world had the money to pay to keep this so…. Outstanding? I came closer and closer to the house that's shrubbery cut was worth more than I'd ever had in my life and I felt like lice falling into the rabbit hole. Then, before I even knew it….

I'm in Wonderland.

I don't even realize I'm right in front of the door. It's a double iron glass door, a painted oil rubbed bronze with a decorative Iron wrought pre-hung in the front. I'm scared to knock, whether it's because my fantasy makes me imagine the Queen of Hearts sending her troops through the door to drag me away for entering her land, or because the doors were worth more than my soul.

The doors suddenly open and I freeze. I don't know who I was expecting to see, but it wasn't someone I ever anticipated meeting. A short, stumpy Hispanic woman in a blue dress and an apron, mumbling in Spanish and looking through her purse.

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing is coming out of my mouth. Why is my throat so dry?

Then as she goes to close the door and notices me and jumps a bit.

"Me astusaste!" She exclaimed. "Quién eres? Si usted está vendiendo algo que no estamos comprando."

She probably thought I spoke Spanish but I actually really suck at it. Something else to blame my dad for.

"Uh, Hola. Me llamo, Tori," I stammer.

She rolls her eyes at my response. Not the first time I've disappointed someone.

"Oye, Pocha," She says. I at least know what that means. Doesn't make me feel better. "What do your parents do?" She says in a thick accent.

Nothing.

She continued. "Who are you? And how did you get past the gate without ringing, nina?"

"Uh, the gate was unlocked."

"Aye! Geez, can anyone do anything correct around here? We install lock to keep Ms. Jadelyn in yet Gustav and Annie cannot even lock a flipping gate!"

She eyes me again. I squeeze the shirt in my hand nervously. I'm not good with authority, I've realized this. I feel myself start to shut down when I hear them scolding, raising their vices.

"What are you doing here? I'm not going to ask again."

I force the words out my mouth. "I'm here to s-see, Jade."

"Ms. Jadelyn? Why?"

"Um… She let me borrow a shirt a few nights ago. I just wanted to return it."

I could tell she wasn't really believing me. I went to explain but then Jade opened the door.

"Marie, did you or Annie move my stencil box-"

Jade noticed me then stopped. "Oh, hi Tori."

The lady, who I guessed was named Maria, looked at Jade. "La conoces?"

"Yeah, I met her a few nights ago."

Maria nodded. "Oh, that explains why my gate was open again. I'm going to talk to Mr. West about getting an electric one."

Maria sighed then looked at her watch. "Listen, I got to go grocery shopping and run a few more Errands. Your friend can stay but no leaving the house." She leveled down with Jade. "You know when you disappear me and your parents worry."

Jade just pursed her lips and nodded. Maria smiled at her and then walked up to me.

"Other than being a Pocha you seem some kind of normal," she whispers. "And Jade can use a friend. No funny business." And with a curt nod she steps around me and heads down the path. I'm not sure why but that lady scared me a bit.

"You can come in."

Jade's words snapped me out of my stasis. I glance at her as she steps out of the doorway to allow me n. I take a step inside, reveling a second in the AC.

Jade walks to the huge sitting room and jumps on to what I could only guess was a ten thousand dollar couch. If I had anything that costs that much money I would cover it in plastic and hang it up away from any human contact.

I walk into the sitting room and try not to look so awed by everything made out of silver and gold and Flousse and things I never even heard of so I can't even describe it.

"What's that?"

I look at Jade and see she's pointing to the shirt in my hands.

"Oh, I, uh, just wanted to… return this." I hand her the white shirt. She looks at it and then drops it on the floor.

"Hey, why'd you do that?" This room was too nice to start just throwing clothes around. Besides, when I had looked at the tag on the back of that shirt it read "Anna McClain'. A brand I was familiar with only knowing that nothing the sell, not even socks, cost under three hundred dollars.

Jade shrugged. "Maria or Gustav will get it."

Geez, and I thought Trina was bad.

I carefully sit on the whit love seat adjacent from the couch, my butt barely making contact with the cushion.

Jade lied on the couch humming something. I'm not sure what to say to her. "So, um…" trying to start a conversation shouldn't be this hard. "Maria seems… nice…"

"Yeah, I guess. She always wants me to stay in the house."

"I'm sure she just wants to keep you safe," I say. "Are Gustav and Annie nice?"

"Gustav doesn't talk much," She say. "And Annie is… weird."

"Is Annie a mad too?"

"No. She's supposed to be watching me."

"Well where is she?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since last night."

Wow, no wonder Jade wanders around by herself. And to think, this girl Annie probably gets paid a shit ton to do a giant load of nothing.

"So what do you usually do?" I want to change the subject.

Jade shrugged. "Nothing. Just draw or something."

"Really? Can I see?"

"No."

I was taken aback by her harsh answer. "Why not?"

"Cuz you can't." Why did that kind of hurt my feelings? She sat up all the way and glanced at the door. "I hope Maria gets back soon. She's supposed to be buying more popsicles."

"Have you ever had crushed ice?"

She gives me an odd look. "What's that?"

I smiled, bouncing excitedly. "It's just the best kind of crushed popsicle ever! You have to try it."

Jade sees how excited I am and she furrows her eyebrows. I know it's kind of childish but I love crushed ice. It reminded me of when I was little and my mom was still round and her and dad and Aunt Carol would take me and Trina to the fair and buy us whatever flavor of crushed ice we wanted. And for a split second, I missed my family. I missed being happy.

But happiness is fleeting.

I pull my eyes away from Jade and look around. This place is so beautiful. It really does feel like Wonderland. A place I would never have believed existed. Funny servants catering to the castle. Things in colors and types of textures I could never describe. A whole new fucking world. Maybe I had finally reached the bottom. It was making me believe life could be better. But it didn't get better. It just got tolerable, and then it wasn't.

"Where do you get it?"

I look back at the young girl. I almost forgot where I was and slipped into that self-loathing in the back of my mind. It was a scary place.

"Um…" I clear my throat. "Actually, this guy Joe sells it at the park in Woodrow Square."

"Let's go get some." Jade jumps off the couch and runs to the door, slipping on her shoes.

"But Jade, you're… uh, Maria said you have to stay inside."

"She always says that. So?"

"I don't know." I don't feel comfortable taking Jade out, especially against Maria's orders. Jade's a little girl. What if Maria came home and saw Jade wasn't here and thought that I'd kidnapped her? Just more trouble to get myself in.

"I'm going to go anyway," She says. "It's up to you if you want to come or not." With that, Jade walked out the front door.

I should stop her, but I don't. I follow her out the house. Because of course I held my tongue. It's what I always do.

"It's hot," Jade says as we walk down the path down toward the gate. "Are we going to walk all the way there?"

"Well, we could take the bus."

"I've never been on a bus before."

"Really?" I shouldn't really be surprised. Rich people don't take the bus. Proven fact. "Well guess you get to today."

"Annie says it's dangerous."

Yeah, I can see why the L.A. bus route had a bad rep. "It's okay. I'll make sure you're safe."

"I wasn't talking about me," she says, pushing open the gate.

I gape. "What? I've taken the bus a thousand times before."

"So maybe it isn't that dangerous."

I step through the gate. "What's that supposed to mean?" I know my cheeks are getting red. I shouldn't be so offended by a nine year old.

"You don't look like someone who can fight."

She was right. I was terrible at fighting, arguing. Anything that had me expressing myself I tended to shut down, something I'd had to face yesterday morning. I was that stereotypical girl that needs some Knight to come and save her. But I doubt that person exists.

I guess Jade saw the forlorn look on my face because she puts her hand on my arm.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure no one hurts you."

I can't help it. I smile back at her. No matter how silly and cute it may have been, her words were like a cooling cream on a fresh burn. It wasn't getting better, but it was becoming tolerable. And I'd take anything I could get at this point.

"Thanks, Jade. Now, let's go get some crushed ice."

* * *

**Thanks for the read. This came out way longer than I anticipated and had to cut it. Next should be up by next Monday!**

**Drop a Review and let me know what you think. I'm still thinking up ideas for this stoy. The first prt of the chapter was kind of hard to write.**

**Thanks for the read. Enjoy your week! Better Days Everyone**

**~Fruity**


	3. Life's Rocky Like That

Thursday

* * *

_Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it  
ain't how hard you can hit. It's how hard you  
can get hit and keep moving forward. It's how  
much you can take, and keep moving forward.  
That's how winning's done._

_~Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone)_

* * *

I still cant believe I actually took Jade out for some ice cream- well, she kind of just told me we were going. I felt like I didn't have much say in it. But when did I ever get a say in anything?

The bus ride was nothing eventful, full as always. Jade had this thing about giving people dirty looks though, and complained about thing the how close everyone was to her. She didn't lie being bumped by strangers, or being able to smell the B.O. of that one person who always gets on the bus without putting on some deodorant. There's _always _that one person.

"You wanted to take this bus," I told her, remembering her snide comment about me being to weak to take the bus.

"Yeah, well, I hate it."

Who didn't?

Twenty minutes and five stops later we were finally at the park. It isn't anything fantastic. It's a little prk not from the public pool on the more modest, middle class part of L.A. that most people didn't know existed. Still, I can't help I feel like I stand out here, more or less because jade's with me.

"Is that it?"

She points to a small white and yellow cart on wheels, a family of like five kids crowd the little opening while a man and a lady try to keep them from pushing the thing over. Then I see Joe, the burly guy that owned the cart, handing out cone after cone of crushed ice with a big smile on his face. I always really liked Joe. He always reminded me of that really jolly old uncle you had at every Thanksgiving. I remember Trina really liked him too. Every time Dad would bring us Joe would complement her from head to toe, feeding her insatiable ego at a young age.

There's this pang in my heart just thinking about Trina, and I momentarily scold myself for thinking about her. She left, just like most of the people in my life. Why should I even let it bother me? It's not like she was doing me any favors.

"Let's go," I hear Jade prodding, nudging me to start walking. I shake out of my stupor and lead her to the cart just as the family who had been there filtered out. I could tell he recognized me by the big, toothy grin he gave me.

"Tori!" He says, just as loud as I remember. "I haven't seen you in ages my girl!"

I smile back at him. "Hey, Joe! How's it been?'

"Pretty good this summer! Hopefully this fall is as warm as they say to keep this business movin' and I might stick around." He sees jade and leans over the counter and smiles warmly at her. "And who's this little one, hm?"

"I'm not little." Jade gives him a less than warm greeting. I don't know why I expected any different.

He laughed. "Of course not. I'm just a giant!"

I speak for her. "Her name's Jade. She wants to try crushed Ice for the first time." She furrowed her eyebrow at me. I could tell the teasing bugged her, but I honestly couldn't resist.

"For the first time? Now that won't do." He pointed at the blue menu on the side of his cat. "What flavor tickles your fancy?"

I smiled at her. "Why don't you try Blueberry Bananza? That's the best one."

She shrugged, looking less than excited. "I guess."

Joe smiles. "Great, two Blueberry Banazas coming right up!"

Joe turns to make us our crushed ice. I'm feeling a lot of nostalgia standing here. I see the swing set that was old as this fucking area itself. I remember Trina always made me push her longer than she would push me. And she always got on first, saying 'Being born first means you're always second'.

Our whole lives she took that saying to heart. Trina always took the lead in front of me. She always opened her presents first on Christmas morning, she always got the first turn in the games we played, she was always first to do something to impress mom or dad, first to get on the fucking honor roll. Hell, she was even the first to fall asleep for naps. Now she was the first to leave. Just another blow, and this one's knocked me so far back I can't get ahead.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to turn off the self-loathing. I just couldn't understand why I always came in second. I've lived with her my whole life, and I still couldn't beat her at her own game. She's gone now, and everything feels so final. I'm never getting the chance to get ahead of her, to shove it in her face that I'm not second best, or the afterthought. But that's exactly what I am. From where I'm standing, there's no winning, just watching someone else do it.

I winced and felt the blood in my mouth saturate my tongue. It always felt so cold in the back of my throat, and I shivered. I'm standing under the L.A. sun in a park and I'm shivering. I'm literally that pathetic.

"Here you both go!" Joe hands us both yellow and white ups of blue crushed ice. "It's on the house, or well, the cart."

"Aw, you didn't have to," I tell him.

He smiled and waved his hand dismissively. "Ain't no big deal. Enjoy your crushed ice."

I told him goodbye and Jade and I headed to park bench to sit down. It was under a tree, opposite end of the other kids. It was peaceful right here, quiet and relaxed. It almost made me feel a little better.

Almost.

I eat some of the crushed ice and it feels good on the inside of my cheek. i glance at Jade and notice she hasn't taken a bite yet. I poke at her arm to get her to look at me.

"C'mon, it's yummy."

"What if I don't like it?" She says it like she's almost positive it tastes bad. Why was a nine year old so negative? She could at least wait until she's my age to age to have such an attitude. It'd be more warranted then.

"Well if it's that bad you can dump it on my head." Kids liked ultimatums, right?

She raises her eyebrow. "Seriously?"

I nod. "Yeah. It's hot out here anyway." I was shivering earlier, wouldn't make a difference now.

She looks like she's thinking about it for a second, but goes ahead and ties her crushed ice.

"So…?"

She just kind of shrugs, but continues to eat it. I know she was trying to downplay it, but if she enjoyed it then our trip up here wasn't wasted, so I took what I could get.

We finished our ice in silence, and my mind continued to wonder. I was thinking of what my dad was going to say when he got home and found out Trina was gone. I wondered if he would hit me first in response, or get piss drunk then hit me as an afterthought. It would probably be the latter, because I always came second for him, whether it was to Trina or the bottle.

I just can't win.

"You there?"

I blink and remember Jade for a second. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."

She sighs, sounding a kind of irritated that was beyond her years. "You think a lot."

"Well, when you get older that happens," I tell her. "It's just, you know, something you do. There's always something on your mind because when you're older life just gets more difficult and… There's just more to everything." Was I trying to convince her, or myself?

She shakes her head. "Life isn't _that_ hard."

I can't believe of all people she's the one saying it to me. "Says you! You're parents are rich, and you've got Maria and a babysitter and a Butler. You guys must be living the life."

"Well no one acts like it." I give her a confused look, and she sighs again. Man I wish I could be as condescending as a nine year old.

"Everyone complains about how hard life is. My parents do it all the time, Maria does, and even Annie does, and she doesn't even watch me anymore."

"Really?"

She nods. "Yeah. Everyone complains to me because they think I'm too young to realize what they're saying, or really care."

"I think that proves my point: Life is hard."

"If everyone is complaining that doesn't make it hard, it's just life. That's how it is. Everyone just think that everything so much harder than it is for everyone else. No one's thinking that life just sucks, and maybe it sucks just as bad for… everyone else too."

Could that be true? I mean, I'm not ignorant enough to think that my life is worse than everyone else. Plenty of kids ended up abused, abandoned, the whole bit. I just always thought mine was unfairly just. I didn't deserve it. I'd never hurt anyone in my life, I always tried, really hard, and never got anything to show for it. People who tried, good people, didn't deserve to come in second all the time. They deserved to win, even just if it was only once in their life.

"Maybe… maybe I'm selfish…" I mused out loud. I was always thinking of myself. Even this morning, when Trina bailed. I was thinking of how I was feeling. How much she was hurting me. How much I didn't deserve the constant pain and the constant loneliness. Was she feeling alone? Where was she going? Was she going to be okay? How much pain has she been in all these years?

I slip my face into my hands. Was this my fault? Could I have done this differently? I lost one of the few people left in my life because I wasn't strong enough to get up and say something. I couldn't fight for my mom, and I couldn't fight for Trina. I sat around just loathing and whining instead of fighting back.

"_You're never going to be anything if you don't ever speak up for yourself. "_

She had been right. I never spoke up against her, I never fought back. I took everything her, Dad and whatever else life threw at me and I just sat there and took it, and on top of it all I was feeling sorry for myself.

Could I get anymore pathetic?

"Don't feel bad," Jade tells me. I make eye contact with her. "Everyone is selfish. You can fix it."

"Maybe." I take a deep sigh, trying to pull myself together. "I'm sorry Jade. I'm complaining to you and you don't seem happy either."

Jade shrugs. "My mom said I'm just an unhappy child. Apparently I get it from my dad so it isn't my fault."

I smile t her, resting my chin on my hand. "Well, maybe if I start being less selfish, you can start being more happy. How does that sound?" Ultimatums seem to work with her.

She eyes me for second. "What if I don't like it?"

"Like what?"

"Being _happy_." She says it almost like a curse word.

"Everyone like's being happy." Even though I didn't feel the emotion much these days, the only good memories worth remembering were when I was happy. Back when that seemed like a real thing. I wanted that for Jade. She didn't deserve to be miserable. If I was a complete failure at fighting for my own happiness, maybe my redemption could be finding it for her. "And I promise you'll like it too."

"Why should I believe you?"

I point to her empty ice cream cup. "The crushed ice was good, no?"

She just shrugs and looks away.

I'm pretty sure that's a yes.

* * *

I didn't get back home until late. We stayed at the park for a few hours then walked round the little man-made lake that always had a group of ducks waddling around looking for food. Jade said she hated ducks, but still wanted to watch them anyway.

After I took her home I took y time heading back. I didn't want to see my dad. I was actually glad that he took my phone away last month so then he couldn't call me and I wasn't able to call him. The less contact with him the better. I was just praying he was asleep, or passed out, by now.

I walked in the house and slowly, quietly, closed the door. The lights were off, and I could smell booze and cigar smoke. He was home alright, but that didn't mean id have to bump in to him.

Just as I had crept to the staircase, the lights flickered on.

"Tori."

His voice isn't menacing. It never was. It was almost calm. It was always unbelievably leveled for how drunk he was. Probably why none of his friends knew the truth. His alcohol level could be ten times the legal limit but he wouldn't stumble even a bit. It used to scare me, now it was just aggravating.

I turn to see him, standing there near the kitchen, staring me directly in the eyes. He's holding some Smirnoff in one hand, the other is crossed over his chest. He didn't even look mad, just…

Normal.

"Yeah?" My voice cracked. It always did when I talked to him.

"Where's, Trina," he asks. "Her stuff is gone."

"She left," I say. There goes that little pang in my heart again. "She moved out I guess. Don't know where too."

He trudged up to me, so close I felt the alcohol almost knock me on my ass. "What? Fucking why?"

I don't respond. He gets angrier and smashes the bottle on the floor. I'll have to clean that up later.

"No, of course she did!" He's yelling now. "She's fucking ungrateful. She's just like that fucking cunt of a mother you have! All, of you, some selfish, ungrateful bitches!"

He's screaming and ranting. I was going to run up to my room, like I always did. Lock the door and cry in the corner 'til he knocked it down and hit me. But when he called me selfish, I just froze. He was right. For once, he was fucking right. I'm selfish, and I know it now. Running was selfish, and I wasn't going to do it anymore.

"I don't understand why I even put up with any of you! You've done nothing but made my life a fucking hell! All three of you. And you Tori," he grabs my arm roughly, pulling me forward until I'm almost chocking on the smell of cigar smoke. "You are going to leave too, aren't you? Just say it!"

I don't respond. Responding never yielded the answer he wanted. I learned that pretty quickly.

And I feel it before it even registers that it's happening. My cheek is burning, bruising, and I land on my knees. What's most surprising though, is I don't feel tears in my eyes. I always cry, why was this tie different?

Instead of continuing, I hear him huff and turn to leave. "I don't want to see your fucking face. Get out of my sight!"

Sighing, I stood, caressing my consistently abused cheek in my hand. I head straight to my room, listening to hi rant and smash more things I'll be cleaning in the morning. I don't even bother to change. I just crawl into bed.

Tonight, I don't think about how miserable I am. I'm thinking about how miserable my dad is right now, downstairs, yelling to absolutely no one in a drunken state. Feeling more abandoned than he's ever felt before. Then I think of Trina, guessing she was somewhere with that douchebag she'd left with earlier, probably partying and trying to sing off key someplace all dinky and cheap. I wonder if she's okay, and I wonder if she'll be happier elsewhere.

And then I think of Jade. I wonder how long she's been the way she has, unhappy, closed off, quiet. I think she can still be happy. Unlike my dad, Trina and I, she still has a chance. A chance to grow up looking at things differently, making better choices. She doesn't have to be miserable. She doesn't have to be on her own.

These thoughts aren't the usual things that go through my head the moments before sleep. It was usually just me wondering how much longer I was going to endure the pain until I finally decided it was enough. Perhaps I'd do something stupid, or maybe I'd never wake up. I was still miserable, but I wasn't the only one. Life didn't beat me as hard today as it usually does. And perchance I could get up tomorrow and it wouldn't hurt as bad either. Tonight of all nights, these are the thoughts that are the thoughts going through my head.

I guess tonight is just different.

* * *

**Oh geez, i thought my computer broe after i wrote this and almost lost hope in humanity. All issues fixed though (for nooow...)**

**Hope you enjoyed. Ilove writing Jori time. It's... cute...? Idk I think everything's cute. Like mice? Those are cute? Dumbledore? he's cute. Buffalo? Big and cute and huggable. ( Don't even ask me what's wrong with me i'm just weird.)**

**And now a word to my reviewers!**

**Yuzu-ch chapter: **Good Idea, Im going to have to play around with that ;) And pocha is a word the Mexicans on my side of the coast call the more Americanized Mexicans. Kind of a slang term I gues.

**megameneko707: **Don't be too sad, k?

**ScottyBgood: **yes…. She may have….?

**Invader Johnny: **Thanks. And whenever I think of friggin space I think of Star myself some spaceship waffles a few days ago and I was humming it on the way to work!

**Xemtlenc**: I knowwww…. It's adorable

**Welp, that is it for the week. Hopefully update next week? Review and tell me how you liked it.**

**~Fruity**


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